It’s hard at times to try to let everything go to get what I want to do in life done. To just let it go. I have a hard time with doing that. I’ve done it once before, and when I think about it, it was one of the best times and experiences in my life. Yet, even though knowing that I still can’t help but talk myself into being okay with where I’m at. Stuck in a rut.
I know better though, even when I’m in this rut, I’m thinking the entire time, “what the heck am I doing here? This is not where I’m meant to be.” I know that I’m settling for what I have instead of charging ahead for what I want. A lot of that has to do with confidence in myself, and the ability to procrastinate with anything and everything I can think of.
A lot of it has to do with me telling myself I’m not qualified enough, and I hate that feeling. Believe me, it relays to more than one aspect of my life, but it’s how I look at things. I’m not one to brag about the things I’ve accomplished and done in my short 30 years of life because as I see it, it’s really not that extraordinary. And then I had an epiphany at church the other day during the sermon. The pastor stated something basic, simple, and true.
People look at me in a different light than I do myself. Just as Christ does. All the time I’m thinking I’m not good enough, I’m not experienced enough, or whatever else excuse I can give at the moment, other people may be looking at me and what I think isn’t something special as just that, special. I have untapped potential that God is aware of, and that God has already given me that I may see as something “easy” that I do every day but is something that other people may consider hard.
Isn’t that interesting? I had never thought of it in that light before. The things that come easy to me could be and should be considered a gift because they are not necessarily easy to everyone else. I should be appreciating those gifts, not wondering why I’m not a pro athlete, chef, or likewise. Realizing this, makes me feel better about the actual possibilities that are there for me, and the potential to use the talents that I already have.
It’s time to start moving forward.